


Sour Cream & Onion Vs Salt & Vinegar

by IHaveNotTurnedGOOD (strangeradventuresofstarwars)



Category: Green Wing
Genre: Both Are Right, Crisp War, F/M, Mac Is Done, Mac Macartney Deals With Idiots, Typical Green Wing Insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 11:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18777568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeradventuresofstarwars/pseuds/IHaveNotTurnedGOOD
Summary: Sue likes Salt & Vinegar crisps, Guy likes Sour Cream & Onion crisps. War ensues.





	Sour Cream & Onion Vs Salt & Vinegar

I don’t own anything.

 

“You’re a fucking lunatic, Secretan!”

“Me? Me?! I’m the lunatic?! Fucking hell, woman.”

“I knew you were fucking stupid at the best of times but I didn’t think you were that fucking dense, you wankpot!”

“Sour cream and onion are the superior crisp flavour, it’s just a fact. That’s just the way it is.” Guy snaps back.

“Yeah, if you’re a fucking brain dead fucking moron. It’s evident that salt and vinegar crisps are better, I don’t even know why we’re fucking arguing about this. Actually, I don’t know why I haven’t fucking killed you already!” Sue growls menacingly.

 

One day, the other month. Caroline Todd had decent to buy a large pack of crisps for the break room.

She filled a whole bowl with them and said to her other colleagues that every week, someone should buy a large packet of crisps in for everyone to eat when they need something to snack one whenever they’ve got a break.

Both she and Angela had made a chart depicting who’s turn it is to pick the crisps each week and seeing as it’s only due to the fact that she’s dating Guy, that Sue joins them in the break room, Caroline had decided to put their names together.

However, what Caroline Todd had not anticipated, is that Sue and Guy would have a verbal war over which crisps they would submit.

Which is why, she is sitting behind Mac watching them battle it out over which crisps are better.

Sour cream and onion or salt and vinegar.

 

“It’s just disgusting!” Guy protests. 

“They’re disgusting, a plague!”

“Disgusting? Yours are a fucking abomination for fucks sake.” Sue retorts.

“No they’re not! There’s fuck all wrong with mine, it’s yours that are the issue, they should be eradicated from the planet!”

“I know something that should be eradicated from the fucking planet!”

“For fucks sake, just admit that you’re wrong!” Guy yells.

“We’re going to be here until the sun explodes.” Caroline whispers to Mac.

“Wrong? You want me to admit that I’m wrong? You’ve stepped in it now, Secretan!” She hisses at him dangerously.

“I’d say it again. I would, I will defend my favourite flavour of crisps until the end.” Guy replies stubbornly.

“Oh will you?” Sue hisses.

“Oh yeah, because I am undoubtedly right.”

“No, you just can’t bear to be wrong, to lose a battle against me.” Sue counters.

“I’m not loosing the battle!”

“Yes you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are and you can’t bear to imagine that you’re about to lose because you’re a wanker who’s always had everything your own way.” She hisses.

“Fuck you!”

“Oh, not now and not later either.” Sue growls at him.

“Seriously?! You’re seriously going to refrain from having sex with me over crisps?” Guy’s eyes widen in shock.

“Maybe I wouldn’t if you just admit that you’re wrong, or at the very least that you can accept the fact that you’re not in the right here!”

“I’m not in the right here? You’re not in the right here, but that doesn’t mean that...”

“Oh yes it does.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Yes it does.”

“No it fucking doesn’t and... Wait... What... Mac, what are you doing?” Guy stops, Mac’s actions in the corner of his eye pulling him out of his battle with his girlfriend.

Mac, is busy emptying his own bag of crisps into the bowl.

“I got fed up of waiting, so I picked the crisps for today.” Mac replies casually.

“Which one did you pick? Of course you picked sour cream and onion because they are the superior chip flavour and I am your very best friend.” Guy smirks over at Sue, fully aware that he’s won this battle.

He’ll definitely be reminding her about this tonight.

Or whenever it is that she allows him to have sex with her again.

“Nope, I think both of your flavours are disgusting, so I picked my favourite. Barbecue.”

“MAC!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is insane but it’s Green Wing so I can get away with it. Thanks so much for reading & please comment & tell me all your thoughts.


End file.
